Look Up

I have a friend from elementary school. At 23 year old we found ourselves in Singles Ward. Still friends after all that time. There is nothing more refreshing then a long friendship. We were at a vital time in our lives. Discovering where the rest of our lives would take us.

 Right after coming home from his mission I sat by him each week in sacrament meeting and watched painfully as he was on his phone the whole meeting. It wasn't here and there. It wasn't that he would listen for a moment then go back to his phone. It was always. He would play intense games that got both his thumbs moving madly. It broke my heart, and distracted me. Some days I said subtle comments to get him to put it away. A few times I even told him to listen. Nothing seemed to get through. After months of this I became so angry that I sat elsewhere. Knowing any moment I would explode and let him have it. He noticed and would try to wave me over. Sometimes he got me, until I waited for Sacrament to start then rushed in finding a spot by myself. 

One week I spoke in that ward. I couldn't help but see if he was watching. No. I was disappointed. After all he was my friend! Why wouldn't he listen? Afterward he approached me with some of my other friends and said I did great. My patience finally gave way and I snapped. I walked to him and said, "Thanks for listening to my talk. Oh wait, you didn't." then stormed away. Yep I over reacted and I'm sure he was confused or bugged. But I don't feel bad saying it. 

Although I speak in annoyance... Why even come to sacrament? In my opinion if you are playing a game while you reach for a piece of bread you might as well not take it.

Heavenly Father has given us a special day to rest, and learn. Can you really not take a small 3 hours out of your 168 hours each week to put away your electronics and give your time to Him? Do you have that little self control? Do your electronics rule you? Some people struggle. I get it. I am biased and have been taught strictly in my church behavior. We aren't all the same. But can we not all turn our phone off for maybe even one hour? Do we need to be entertained every moment we are awake? 

I promise that true happiness and growth come from attending church and REALLY being there. Revelation and miracles come daily if we but just open our eyes and notice them! I hope we will look up and realize the world around us. Proving to the Lord (in Sister Hinckley's words) that "I was really here and that I really lived." 

-Chelsey

No Struggle No Learning

Things have been on my mind for the past few weeks. I have so many good friends who grew up in the Church. As soon as their adulthood freedom comes rolling along, and they are able to decide life more for themselves they turn against everything that they had previously believed. It baffles me, and hurts me. When someone falls they seem to fall so hard. I understand that no one can serve two masters, but why fall so hard? How can someone completely leave the teachings of their parents after their whole lives of learning? My Dad drew a picture of the iron rod. It shows the rod straight up and down, almost as if they were rock climbing. If you for one moment completely let go, you WILL fall down. The gospel isn't a straight shot. And in this day and age it's even harder. We can't afford to let go.

If my friends new decisions made their lives better then I would accept their choices. Each one who has fallen from gospel principles have become someone else. Their light is diminished. It's obvious in their eyes that they are unhappy. No matter what lies they tell themselves I am sure they know that their happiest moments were those when they were immersed in the gospel. Loving others, praying to Heavenly Father, studying the gospel, and being optimistic of others and the future.

It must be that there were doubts. That things didn't seem to make full sense. They may have sat on the fence peering around on both sides. Or even that hard things came into their lives and they felt completely lost. It's hard to know.

 In my 23 years of life, I've had my own doubts and my own trials even though on the outside it seems I have always been solid. Times when I felt unworthy of the gospel. Times where I knelt down in prayer with tears stinging in my eyes when I felt I had no right to pray to Heavenly Father. Times when I asked myself do I really believe these things? Those moments didn't stop me from truly believing. Why? Because I prayed regardless. I studying the scriptures daily even when I didn't want to. I desperately tried to surround myself with good. Some days it was hard, but I can promise you it was worth it. I walked out of the temple doors hand in hand with my husband a few short months ago. As I starred at the crowd of people who I loved so much, I was overcome with emotion. It took a lot of preparation to come here, and it was worth every tear, and trial. How much more meaningful it was to struggle to at last stand with my husband inside the temple truly appreciating it, rather than gliding through with no learning, and no hardship. I knew that I wanted to be there. I knew it was right because I had fought to be there.

To my friends who struggle in anyway I promise you that happiness and fulfillment will come if you just try. Blessings are waiting to be poured out to you. Start out with taking your weaknesses and slowly bettering them. The smallest step forward is still forward. Just because you let go of the gospel doesn't mean you can't climb back up to where you were and then some! You and I both know the happiness that you once tasted. Come back. I know that you are so good regardless of your current choices.
Who cares what others think of you. The only people whose opinions matters are yours and your Heavenly Fathers.

The Church is true! Find it out for yourself!

-Chelsey

Everything Happens For A Reason

I recently made a big decision and decided to quit my job. For months I had sat at a desk doing nothing for 8 hours. Mentally, physically, and emotionally I was drained. The routine was difficult. I felt worthless no matter what I did. It effected my home life with my poor sweet new husband. I was miserable and so was he with the negativity I brought. I often thought, "Is this what life has planned for me?"

One morning I went to work dragging my feet. As the morning went on tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't do this anymore. I needed to quit. At lunch I spoke to my husband and he said, "I just want you happy. I support you with anything you decide." Soon after I spoke to my boss and left not saying anything to anyone. I had given up, feeling like a failure I cried on the way home.

I've had time to ponder for the last few days. Why should I be upset about this? A job doesn't define my self worth. I am not restrained by fate. There are so many opportunities available to me. If I don't like my story I have the eraser and pencil to rewrite it. There is so much more to life that I have taken for granted. The things that really matter. The things that really make up who I am Church, the gospel, my family, my adorable husband, and my friends.

Wallowing in my self pity my best friend surprised me with a jamba juice and gave me some wonderful advice that the spirit guided her to say. She reminded me about the story of President Monson as young boy. He and his dad were in the middle of no where in their truck. They were trying to come home and came to a fork in the road. They couldn't remember which way to go. They went on the right path for a ways and it came to a dead end. To their relief it comforted them. Although they had gone the wrong way and it took a ways to drive down they now knew that the other way was right.

I can relate that to my situation. What a blessing I didn't keep going. That path wasn't for me. It was just a side track. I learned good information that I can use in the future, and I made money to help us pay rent. Everything happens for a reason.

-Chelsey